Several myths surround the adoption process. One of them is the idea that when a birth mother chooses adoption, she’s actually “giving her baby away.” The terms “give up” or “give away” described adoption decades ago. At that time, a woman had no idea who adopted her child as most adoptions were closed to protect the privacy of birth parents.
Adoption is very different today.
Why Was It Called “Giving Away?”
At a time when being an unmarried pregnant woman was socially unacceptable, families often forced a woman to give up her child for adoption. Frequently, the woman spent her pregnancy in a maternity home or with a relative who lived out of town.
Rarely did she know the couple who adopted her child. The baby was whisked away immediately after birth, and she never saw them again. She gave her baby away to total strangers.
You Can Choose Who Raises Your Child
This practice of taking a baby away from the mother is one of the reasons women don’t choose adoption. It’s a myth. Now, the expectant woman, or birth mom, selects the adoptive family. She reads the bios of potential adoptive couples and chooses the perfect one for her child.
They are not strangers. She sees photos and learns about their lives. The couple shares information about their relationship, home, neighborhood, and extended family. She can meet them before the baby is born to feel confident about her choice.
Why Do Women Choose Adoption?
Birth moms come from all walks of life. They choose adoption for many different reasons. Here are a few of the more common ones:
- The father is no longer in her life or is unknown
- She’s already raising other children and can’t add one more
- She wants to finish school and pursue a career
- There is no one to assist her financially and emotionally
- She is in a destructive relationship that is unsafe for a child
- There’s been substance abuse, and she’s concerned she can’t care for the child
- She feels too young or too old to parent
- She desires a two-parent home for her child
Is Adoption Good?
Although difficult, making an adoption plan can be an excellent solution. Adoption is not a one-time event. It is for a lifetime. Recent research proves that birth mothers are more satisfied with their adoptions today than women were decades ago.
The two most important reasons women were satisfied were because they thoroughly understood the adoption process and didn’t feel manipulated. Adoption can be hard and painful, but with proper counseling and an ongoing relationship with your child and their family, it can be beneficial and pleasant.
Does BsideU for Life Do Adoptions?
No, we are not a licensed adoption agency and can’t place your child for adoption. We can provide referrals to reputable adoption coordinators and give more information about your options.
Sign up for a free and confidential appointment online. You can select the time that’s most convenient for you. The team at BsideU for Life is with you all the way.